Fear

     While I was on my bike for my last long ride Saturday and since I have been training without music for the last week (trying to do every couple of workouts without music since Ironman frowns upon Music for safety) During a 2 hour no music ride my mind wonders....Lets start off that I push myself to extremes as shown in past blogs. I'm not sure 100% why but I do know it has to do with FEAR. I have a huge fear of failing in most things I try that's why I workout so hard and do things that people think are crazy.  During my bike ride I started worrying about my up coming tri, OK I was really only worrying about the swim portion I know as long as I make it to my bike I will drag myself to the finish but 1st I have to make it past the swim. Yes I've been doing swim workouts the last month but I really have only been swimming a few months which only equals about 15-20 swim workouts and some of those were spent on getting some kind of form. So I'm as new as you can get. So while I was on the bike I came up with a plan and tonight (Tuesday) that plan goes into effect. I'm going to go home and around 7 pm I'm going to run a hard 10 k then go swim a mile, then tomorrow I'm going to ride a hard 15 miles then swim a mile. I figure if I can swim a mile after my body has been pushed and is tired then after a few days rest I should mentally be ready for a swim with a fresh body. Yes I know my body can make the distance, it's just some stupid fear hanging around because I remember how hard the Ironman Kansas swim was.

Sorry...This isn't an actual blog post This was just a thought that I wanted to share since who ever has been reading this blog is in some part a part of my journey and so I want to give some insight as to how my mind is working.


As I do before any race I'm asking anyone reading this.... If you pray, Please pray for me and lets see what I can do... Feel free to leave any questions and/or comments I could use them.... Thanks